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because of their lives
by Bev Toelle
Bev enjoys writing, working with wood, and mentoring women towards freedom and to grow closer in their relationship with Jesus. She is a stay-home mom of 3 who has enjoyed re-learning history as she home schools her kids. |
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Eighteen years ago I loaded up my little Dodge Omni with everything I owned and drove from Laramie, Wyoming to Los Angeles to become a part of Mosaic. The women from Mosaic that I met on a visit to Los Angeles the year before inspired me because of how they lived. One just returned from living in Calcutta, India for ten months; another lived in China for two years; and a third served the homeless regularly in Los Angeles. All three were so selfless. They were also making a difference in the world. I felt God wanted me to reside among such people. I wanted to be like them.
Honestly, I didn’t know if becoming more like them and making an impact on the world was even possible for someone like me. Because I had a very unstable childhood filled with neglect, physical and emotional abuse, abandonment, and out right rejection; I arrived in Los Angeles that year with many wounds that needed healing. Those hurts made it hard ftttor me to trust anyone. Which made it difficult for me to open up to and become close friends with the new women that I met.
Thankfully, my hesitancy to be vulnerable and my wounds did not stop the Mosaic women from reaching out to me in love. I learned valuable lessons from a whole spectrum of Mosaic women over the years. At one end of the spectrum were women like Nancy Ingold whom I came to know well. At the other end were women that, though I didn’t know them well, still had a positive impact on my life. Mary Becker was one of those. There were also many women in between those extremes that God used in my life.
Nancy is one of the women that I met the year before I moved from Wyoming. At that time she served the homeless in Los Angeles.During the seventeen years I have known her, Nancy’s tenacious faith deeply impacted my life. Nancy and her family lived many of those years residing in India as overseas workers. Through all her ups and downs in life, Nancy consistently sought to obey God and believe He would direct her family. Through her, I observed a life that trusted in God and never shrunk back. She has become one of my closest friends.
Like Nancy, Mary also positively impacted my life. However, I don’t really know her personally at all. I always wanted to, but with us both living in different cities and serving in different ministries; spending much time together seemed impossible. Yet she always appeared to (and still does!) have a radiant smile on her face at church on Sundays. When people spend time with God, loving Him and living a life of worship toward Him, their lives show it. I saw this in Mary’s life. Over the years, I did know that she had some personal hardships she had to work through. Even in those times, her sincere trust in God and his goodness shined through. She appears so keenly aware of His love and goodness that it overflows towards others. Her love of God and others inspired me to want to live like that too.
Along with Nancy and Mary, many other Mosaic women helped me learn how to be a better wife. I have had the opportunity to observe them love and respect their husbands in godly ways. They honored them publicly in how they talked about their husbands and supported them in their dreams. Since my parent’s marriage was not a good one and ended in divorce, having the privilege of observing marriages that honor God impacted my life and my ability to be a better wife to the godly husband that God gave me.
Though I had much to learn about being a wife, parenting is the area in my life that has stretched me and challenged me the most. I have read books and gone to parenting seminars, but the most significant things I found out about parenting I learned from observing Mosaic women raise their children. I’ve seen moms like Rachel Soto take her kids with her to serve at church, conferences, and on mission trips. Each of her boys are genuine as they show their love for God and people. I have watched the kids of other moms become adults who serve God. This has made me realize that one of the most significant ways that I can make a difference in the world is to raise godly children. However, when I had my first child, I had NO idea how to be a loving parent. I was desperate to learn whatever I could because I had deep and serious feelings of incompetence when it came to raising kids. From the day my first child was born and through the births of my other two, there have been many times that I cried out to God for help in parenting. I believe God answered many of those prayers by giving me the opportunity to watch godly women as they gently loved their children and led them into becoming servants of God.
By observing so many women love the people in their lives and raise their children in a godly way; I learned how to become a better parent, a better wife, and a better person. I had a lot to learn about these aspects of life because of the poor role models I had growing up. I am thankful that God brought me to a spiritual community where there are women that I could learn from who have amazing faith and integrity, and who also try to truly follow Christ. I wish I had been more intentional about spending more time with these wonderful women, and less afraid of being open with them. I know I could have gleaned even more wisdom. Still, I am incredibly thankful for their love and their impact on my life. As I’ve reflected on the influence that their lives have had on mine, I realize now that I can make a difference in the world in the same way—by modeling for others selflessness and sacrificial love. |
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